I will never forget it as long as I live. Walking across the beach, head in turmoil, a hundred questions swimming in my mind, utter confusion etched on my face. I pleaded again in desperation “Please God, I’ll do whatever you tell me, please just tell me what to do.”
I had spent six years in a tumultuous relationship. It was decision time, should I walk away or commit? I needed God to speak. I had spent weeks doing everything I could to get his attention. I fasted, prayed, read my bible and now I was trying the begging approach. But heaven was silent. Was God angry? Did he care? Couldn’t he see how desperate I was?
As I looked out at the ocean, tears of desperation running down my cheeks; I suddenly heard a clear distinct voice “Go by the way of the water.” It was filled with love, loaded with possibility and I knew it was the answer to weeks of prayer. The only problem; I had absolutely no idea what it meant! Surely this was a yes/no, go/stay type of scenario. What had water to do with anything! I pleaded for clarity but none came.
Why is it that when I want an answer, God wants a conversation? I rushed home and did what anyone who has just heard from God in a confusing way does, right? I turned to Google! I found every biblical reference for water, I studied its components as an element and its qualities. I’d like to say I found my key, but I didn’t.
D-day came, I woke feeling unsure of myself and baffled by God’s confusing input. Was he indifferent to the entire situation? I reached over unenthusiastically to the Lisa Bevere book I was reading and continued from where I’d left of. My jaw dropped as I read the words:
Something holds you back. People are pleading with you from the shore, “Don’t go any further, I need you!” Your heart is drawn by the water but you feel compelled to stay with those on the shore. You must turn from their pleas and embrace the water.
We’ve all had them – that moment when you get your breath back for the first time in years, all because peace has won out. A moment containing so much life that the mist of confusion breaks and the light of healing comes. Courage infused my body as I embraced one of the hardest days I’ve faced with absolute assurance. It was time to leave the shore of my relationship and embrace the wild and unknown adventure of the water.
I wish I could go back to that frustrated girl on the beach and tell her that she’d just been given the key to her freedom. I am so grateful she said yes to a conversation with God. This same invitation awaits us all. Out of his love for you he wants to speak. May saying yes to a conversation with God bring you the fullness of life it has brought me.
By Lisa Clarke