“Who is like You among the gods, O Lord? Who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, working wonders?” Exodus 15:11
The One who holds the sun and stars in place, He’s the One who plants provision before it’s needed, who tells the oceans where to stop and land to begin. My God is the God who commands angel armies, but He is also the God who cares when I’m happy or hurt. I’m always mystified and in wonder with how God, who is present with every aspect of the universe, also chooses to be personal with my today. When we look at the work of God’s fingers, our lives seem far less significant—and that makes his deep concern for our lives that much more meaningful.
Standing at the front of my home church, watching women walk one after the other towards the front, I glance around and piece together that this is a wedding. I look back to the processional and as I see these women, my heart hurts from painful memories I have with them and I couldn’t help but think how awful these bridesmaids dresses are. Not my usual thought but they’re opposite to anything I cared for nor anything that resembled the magnitude of a wedding day! I begin to wonder who’s wedding this is. With that I glance down to see me wearing a hideous bridal dress. And everything dawns on me. This is my wedding, and nothing is what I want. I look at the guests and I can’t see any of ‘my people’. Then the thought comes, ‘who am I marrying?’ I turn to see, and everything inside me winced, ‘O dear goodness no, not him.’ But it’s too late, I can’t do anything.
And with that I wake up.
I love seeing people happy, but what I love more is having a part to play in seeing that happen. However, from a young age I have struggled with decision making. Mix these together, i.e. a decision which affects other people, and you will see me shrink with anxiety. Sounds dramatic. Trust me, I know, but I can’t deny it’s effect on me. The idea of others being displeased at the expense of my happiness felt well worth laying down my pleasure and my right to choose, because at the end of the day ‘there will always be someone that would make decisions better than I ever would,’ and so I ‘shushed’ my right to choose. I was aware of this pattern I had, but I never felt it was something worth ‘fixing’. ‘This is just me’, until this dream, until God in His kindness stepped in and showed me a value He had for my opinions and my happiness. The Lord saw a part of me that was broken and He breathed life on it.
God is the God of galaxies, but first He’s is our Dad and He makes time for His kids.
By Holly Wales
December 21, 2016 at 7:39 am
December 26, 2016 at 4:30 pm
This is EXACTLY what I have been walking through and discovering. Thank you for sharing!