How do you reconcile a broken relationship?
There are no easy answers, unfortunately.
I have unreconciled relationship and reconciled relationship. The unreconciled relationship are not for lack of desire but each time I wanted to reach out to initiate the process, I have felt Holy Spirit protecting me, even holding me back.
Would it be futile? Would it stir up old wounds? Are the other parties not ready? I don’t know. All I know is that it’s not time.
I have reconciled relationships that have now passed into oblivion. What I mean by that is that even though we reconciled, we no longer keep in touch. Maybe the important thing is not that we would be life-long friends, but that I make up for my part in the breakdown of the relationship.
Reconciliation is not easy. It’s one thing if it was a simple misunderstanding that can easily be cleared up with a straightforward communication. However, sometimes the breakdown involves diametrically opposed points of view, values, strategies, etc. Sometimes the conflict was based on mistrust and deception. These are more difficult to untangle.
This is not an easy “how-to” on reconciliation. I have experienced deep and meaningful reconciliation a number of times when it involved humbling myself, acknowledging my part in the breakdown of the relationship, and demonstrating patience to rebuild the relationship (sometimes years).
Each of these instances was Holy Spirit led. I wish I could tell you that it was easy and instantaneous. It wasn’t. There were remarkable breakthroughs along the way and we have all heard amazing testimonies. Anything is possible with God.
If you are looking for reconciliation with family members, don’t give up! If you are looking for reconciliation with friends, hold this loosely. Not all friendships are meant to last forever and sometimes we just move on in different seasons of our life.
I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Philippians 4:2
There is a special call for unity among believers for the sake of the Gospel.
Yes, Paul and Barnabas could not agree on whether to take John Mark along on their journey so that they separated from each other. (Acts 15:36-41)
Things don’t always work out the way we want but the call for reconciliation is no less.
Is God prompting you to reconcile with someone?
By Ralph Veenstra
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